Coming Home to Yourself
Coming Home to Yourself: The Journey of Self-Love and Rediscovery
There comes a moment in life when you realize that the person you have been waiting for—the one who will truly see you, honor you, and love you unconditionally—has been with you all along. It is you.
The Journey of Self-Love and Rediscovery
There comes a moment in life when you realize that the person you have been waiting for—the one who will truly see you, honor you, and love you unconditionally—has been with you all along. It is you.
For many, self-love feels like an elusive concept, something talked about in books and on social media but difficult to embody in real life. We chase relationships, achievements, and external validation, believing they will offer the sense of wholeness we crave. But there is an undeniable truth: the deepest healing happens when we turn inward.
The Struggle to Return to Ourselves
As a coach, I often hear variations of the same story: “I feel like I’ve lost myself.” Whether it’s through years of caregiving, bending to expectations, or chasing love from those who cannot fully offer it, many people wake up one day feeling disconnected from their own essence.
This is not failure. This is the invitation.
Losing ourselves is often part of the journey because it allows us to find ourselves in a way we never could before—this time, with awareness, intention, and deep self-compassion. It is a remembering.
The Grief and Beauty of Self-Rediscovery
Coming back to yourself is not always easy. There is grief in realizing how long you have abandoned your needs. There may be sadness in seeing where you have accepted less than you deserve. But alongside that grief, there is also an incredible beauty—the beauty of returning home.
Self-love is not about perfection. It is not about standing in front of the mirror reciting affirmations you don’t believe. It is about becoming the one who stays. The one who listens. The one who chooses, again and again, to be gentle with themselves.
Practical Steps to Reconnect with Yourself
If you are in the process of rediscovering yourself, here are a few steps that can help:
Meet Yourself With Compassion. Speak to yourself the way you would a dear friend who is learning something new. Self-criticism keeps you stuck; self-compassion moves you forward.
Honor Your Desires. What do you actually want? Not what you should want, but what truly brings you peace, joy, and fulfillment? Let this be your compass.
Practice Small Acts of Self-Belonging. Whether it’s setting a boundary, journaling, or simply placing your hand over your heart and whispering, I am here with you, these moments matter.
Grieve What Needs to Be Grieved. If you have spent years abandoning yourself, there may be sadness. Let yourself feel it without judgment. Healing requires witnessing the hurt, not bypassing it.
Recommit Daily. Some days will be easier than others. That’s okay. Self-love is not a finish line; it’s a relationship. And like any relationship, it requires attention, care, and patience.
The Reunion of a Lifetime
Derek Walcott’s poem Love After Love so beautifully captures this moment—the sacred reunion with the self.
"You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself."
You are not a project to be fixed. You are a home to return to.
And no matter how far you have wandered, you are always welcome back.
Are You Ready to Reconnect With Yourself?
If this message resonates with you, I invite you to go deeper with your self-love journey:
✨ Experience a Private Breathwork Session – Join me for a guided breathwork experience designed to help you release old patterns and reconnect with your true essence. [Sign up here!]
Download my Free Self-Love Journaling Guide
with prompts to help you reflect, heal, and return to yourself.
You are worthy of love, especially your own. And no matter where you are on this journey, you are not alone.
I’d love to hear your thoughts—what does self-love mean to you? Drop a comment or share your reflections with me.
Understanding Your Attachment Style
Have you ever found yourself repeating the same patterns in relationships—feeling anxious when someone pulls away, shutting down when things get too intimate, or constantly finding yourself in unhealthy dynamics? If so, you're not alone. The way we connect (or struggle to connect) in relationships is deeply rooted in our attachment style
The Key to Self-Discovery and Emotional Freedom
Have you ever found yourself repeating the same patterns in relationships—feeling anxious when someone pulls away, shutting down when things get too intimate, or constantly finding yourself in unhealthy dynamics? If so, you're not alone. The way we connect (or struggle to connect) in relationships is deeply rooted in our attachment style—a subconscious blueprint formed in childhood that shapes how we experience love, trust, and emotional security (Bowlby, 1988).
Understanding your attachment style isn't just about relationships with others—it's about deepening your relationship with yourself. It’s about uncovering the patterns that run in the background of your mind, influencing how you show up in love, friendships, and even your relationship with your own needs and emotions.
When we bring awareness to these patterns, we unlock the power to liberate ourselves—to move beyond old conditioning and into a more conscious, self-aware, and empowered way of relating.
What Are Attachment Styles?
Attachment theory, first developed by psychologist John Bowlby (1988), suggests that the way we bond with our caregivers in infancy shapes how we relate to others throughout life. His research was later expanded by Mary Ainsworth (Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 1978), who identified four primary attachment styles based on how infants responded to separation and reunion with their caregivers. These patterns persist into adulthood, influencing our relationships and emotional regulation.
There are four primary attachment styles:
Secure Attachment – You feel safe in relationships, can trust others, and can navigate intimacy and independence with ease. This style develops when a child consistently experiences love, safety, and responsiveness from caregivers (Siegel & Bryson, 2012).
Anxious Attachment – You may feel a deep fear of abandonment, become preoccupied with your relationships, and seek constant reassurance. This often stems from inconsistent caregiving—times of love followed by emotional unavailability (Levine & Heller, 2010).
Avoidant Attachment – You may struggle with intimacy, feel overwhelmed by closeness, and prefer independence over connection. This develops when caregivers were emotionally distant, dismissive, or pushed independence too early (Schore, 2001).
Disorganized Attachment – A mix of both anxious and avoidant tendencies, often rooted in childhood experiences of fear, neglect, or trauma. Love and safety were unpredictable, making trust difficult (Maté, 2003).
While these styles originate in childhood, they continue to show up in our adult relationships—until we consciously break free from the cycle.
Why Understanding Your Attachment Style Matters
Awareness is the first step to change. When you know your attachment style, you begin to recognize:
Why you react the way you do in relationships
What subconscious fears are driving your behaviors
How your nervous system has been wired to seek (or avoid) connection
Without this awareness, we operate on autopilot—choosing relationships, responding to conflict, and internalizing rejection based on old wounds. As Dr. Gabor Maté (2003) explains, unresolved attachment trauma doesn't just affect emotional health—it can manifest physically, leading to chronic stress and disease.
Healing your attachment wounds isn’t about blaming the past; it’s about liberating yourself from it so you can create the kind of relationships you truly desire.
How to Liberate Yourself From Unhealthy Attachment Patterns
1. Self-Reflection: Understanding the Root of Your Attachment Style
Start by asking yourself:
How did my caregivers respond to my emotional needs?
Do I fear abandonment or emotional closeness?
Do I tend to over-give, withdraw, or sabotage relationships?
How does my nervous system react in moments of conflict—do I fight, freeze, fawn, or flee?
Awareness of your patterns allows you to see them in action, rather than being controlled by them.
2. Rewire Your Nervous System Through Somatic Healing
Attachment wounds don’t just live in the mind; they are stored in the body. Research by Dr. Allan Schore (2001) shows that early attachment experiences shape the brain's ability to regulate emotions. Breathwork, meditation, and nervous system regulation practices help you shift from survival-based responses (fear, anxiety, shutting down) into a more grounded state of connection and safety.
For example, somatic release breathwork can help move stored emotional energy, allowing your body to experience what secure attachment feels like—even if you didn’t grow up with it.
3. Inner Child Work: Meeting the Needs You Didn’t Get as a Child
Many of our attachment wounds stem from unmet childhood needs. The good news? You have the power to reparent yourself.
Try this:
Close your eyes and visualize yourself as a child.
Ask: What do you need right now? Love? Safety? Reassurance?
Imagine giving that younger version of yourself exactly what they need.
As Brené Brown (2012) emphasizes in Daring Greatly, vulnerability and self-compassion are key to healing past wounds and developing healthier emotional responses.
4. Cultivating Secure Attachment Within Yourself
The foundation of healthy relationships isn’t just about how you connect with others—it’s about how you connect with yourself. To cultivate self-secure attachment:
✅ Learn to self-soothe instead of seeking external validation
✅ Trust yourself to meet your own emotional needs
✅ Set and honor your boundaries without guilt
✅ Lean into discomfort and allow intimacy at a healthy pace
The more you nurture safety within, the more your external relationships will reflect that security.
Attachment Healing as a Path to Self-Discovery
Healing your attachment wounds isn’t just about relationships—it’s a portal to self-discovery. It invites you to explore the deepest layers of your being, to witness the old versions of yourself that adapted to survive, and to choose something different.
When you step into conscious relationships—with yourself and others—you’re no longer bound by the past. You begin to:
✨ Operate from self-awareness rather than fear
✨ Release old cycles and step into healthier connections
✨ Expand into your highest timeline—one where love, trust, and security come from within
This is the path to freedom. Not just in relationships, but in every area of life.
Your Invitation to Heal and Expand
If you’re ready to explore this journey deeper, I invite you to start with a guided breathwork session designed to release attachment wounds and cultivate self-security. Breath is the bridge between the subconscious and conscious mind—allowing you to move beyond intellectual awareness into embodied healing.
Your attachment style is not your destiny. You have the power to rewrite your story.
Forest Bathing
One practice gaining global recognition for its profound impact on mental and physical health is forest bathing, or Shinrin-yoku. Originating in Japan in the 1980s, forest bathing involves immersing oneself in the natural environment, engaging all the senses to absorb the forest atmosphere.
In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, finding moments of peace and connection with nature has become increasingly vital. One practice gaining global recognition for its profound impact on mental and physical health is **forest bathing**, or *Shinrin-yoku*. Originating in Japan in the 1980s, forest bathing involves immersing oneself in the natural environment, engaging all the senses to absorb the forest atmosphere.
The Essence of Forest Bathing
Unlike typical outdoor activities, forest bathing is not about physical exercise but about **mindful presence**. Participants are encouraged to slow down, breathe deeply, and engage with the sights, sounds, and smells of the forest. This intentional practice fosters a deep connection with nature, promoting relaxation and well-being.
Mental Health Benefits
Research has demonstrated that spending time in forests can significantly enhance mental health:
-Stress Reduction: Forest environments have been shown to lower cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress, leading to a calmer state of mind.
-Alleviation of Depression and Anxiety: Studies indicate that forest bathing can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, contributing to improved mood and emotional well-being.
- Enhanced Focus and Cognitive Function:Regular interaction with natural settings has been linked to improved attention spans and cognitive clarity.
Physical Health Benefits
The advantages of forest bathing extend beyond mental health:
- Immune System Support: Exposure to phytoncides—natural compounds released by trees—can enhance immune function by increasing the activity of natural killer cells, which play a role in combating infections and cancer.
- Cardiovascular Health: Engaging with forest environments has been associated with lower blood pressure and heart rate, reducing the risk of heart-related ailments.
- Overall Physical Well-being:Regular nature immersion encourages physical activity and can lead to improved overall health outcomes.
Incorporating Forest Bathing into Your Life
Integrating forest bathing into your routine doesn't require access to vast woodlands; local parks or green spaces can suffice. Here are some steps to begin:
1. Choose a Natural Setting:Find a quiet area rich in greenery where you can walk slowly and without interruption.
2. Engage Your Senses:Take time to observe the colors of the leaves, listen to the rustling of branches, inhale the earthy scents, and feel the textures around you.
3. Disconnect from Technology: Leave electronic devices behind to fully immerse yourself in the experience.
4. Move Mindfully:There's no destination or goal; allow yourself to wander and explore at a leisurely pace.
5. Reflect on the Experience:After your walk, consider journaling about your feelings and any changes in your mental or physical state.
At Serenity Cove Temecula, we recognize the transformative power of nature in the healing process. Our serene environment, nestled among ancient oaks on sacred land, provides the perfect backdrop for forest bathing experiences. We invite you to explore this practice as part of your journey toward holistic well-being.
Embrace the tranquility of the forest and discover the profound healing it offers for your mind and body.
Lena Servin BSN,RN,RYT,RMT
1.Harvard Health Publishing
Decades of research indicate that forest bathing may help reduce stress, improve attention, boost immunity, and lift mood. Originating in Japan in the 1980s, Shinrin-yoku was developed in response to a national health crisis related to increased stress from industrial work. Certified trails were established to guide individuals in immersive outdoor experiences.
2. National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI)
Studies have found that forest bathing has positive physiological effects, such as blood pressure reduction and improvement of autonomic and immune functions, as well as psychological benefits like alleviating depression and enhancing mental health.
3. Environmental Health and Preventive Medicine Journal
Forest bathing can regulate blood pressure, reduce blood glucose levels, modulate endocrine activity, alleviate mental disorders, combat cancer, and enhance immune function.
environhealthprevmed.biomedcentral.com
4. American Psychiatric Association
Several studies have associated nature walks with mood improvements. Research from the University of Michigan suggests that interacting with nature may serve as a valuable supplement to existing treatments for major depression. Forest therapy has also shown potential in aiding recovery from trauma and PTSD.
5. NPR Life Kit
Engaging in forest bathing can boost the immune system, lower blood pressure, and assist with depression. It also helps reduce stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
6. The Forest Bathing Institute
Research indicates that Shinrin-yoku offers numerous health benefits, including reducing blood pressure, lowering stress, improving cardiovascular and metabolic health, aiding in weight loss, lowering blood-sugar levels, enhancing concentration and memory, alleviating depression, and increasing the production of anti-cancer proteins.
7. Cleveland Clinic
Scientific evidence supports that spending time in nature through practices like forest bathing can improve stress, anxiety, and depression. This sensory immersion directs attention away from negative thoughts, promoting a more positive mental state.
Exploring Expanded States of Consciousness with the Lucia Light No. 3
The Lucia Light No. 3 is a hypnagogic light device designed to induce deep meditative states, altered consciousness, and visionary experiences through a combination of solid and flickering white light.
In our quest for deeper self-awareness, healing, and personal evolution, the exploration of expanded states of consciousness has become an increasingly sought-after experience. While traditional practices such as meditation, breathwork, and plant medicine have long been revered as gateways to these states, emerging technologies like the Lucia Light No. 3 offer a unique, non-invasive pathway to altered awareness.
What is the Lucia Light No. 3?
The Lucia Light No. 3 is a hypnagogic light device designed to induce deep meditative states, altered consciousness, and visionary experiences through a combination of solid and flickering white light. Developed by Austrian neurologist Dr. Engelbert Winkler and psychologist Dr. Dirk Proeckl, this technology works by stimulating the pineal gland, activating the brain’s natural ability to produce psychedelic-like visuals without the need for substances.
As the light pulses at varying frequencies, users often report experiencing geometric patterns, vivid colors, and an overwhelming sense of peace, interconnectedness, and deep introspection.
How Does It Work?
The Lucia Light No. 3 operates by influencing the brain's electrical activity through photonic stimulation. This process encourages the production of alpha, theta, and gamma brainwaves, the same states associated with deep meditation, lucid dreaming, and mystical experiences.
Alpha Brainwaves (8-12 Hz) – Relaxation, creativity, and light trance states.
Theta Brainwaves (4-8 Hz) – Deep meditation, emotional processing, and access to the subconscious mind.
Gamma Brainwaves (30-100 Hz) – Peak spiritual experiences, expanded awareness, and enhanced intuition.
By entraining the brain to oscillate at these frequencies, the light guides users into profound states of consciousness that might otherwise take years of disciplined meditation to achieve.
The Experience: What to Expect
Each person’s journey with the Lucia Light No. 3 is unique, as the light interacts with the individual's nervous system, thoughts, and energy field. However, common experiences include:
Visual Journeys: Intricate fractals, sacred geometry, and vibrant colors.
Deep Relaxation: A state of calm and presence, similar to a meditative trance.
Emotional Release: Unprocessed emotions or memories surfacing for healing.
Connection to the Infinite: A profound sense of unity, love, and expansion.
Creative Inspiration: Enhanced problem-solving, artistic insights, and visionary thinking.
Some compare the experience to a waking dream, while others feel it mimics deep breathwork or plant medicine journeys without the physical demands of traditional psychedelics.
Who Can Benefit from the Lucia Light No. 3?
This modality is for anyone seeking:
Spiritual Exploration: A safe way to access mystical states and deeper awareness.
Stress & Anxiety Reduction: The deeply relaxing effects help regulate the nervous system.
Enhanced Meditation & Mindfulness: Supports those struggling with traditional meditation.
Creativity & Innovation: Artists, writers, and entrepreneurs benefit from heightened inspiration.
Healing & Emotional Processing: Provides a gentle space for integration and personal growth.
Preparing for a Lucia Light Session
To get the most out of your experience, consider the following:
Set an Intention: Whether it's clarity, healing, or expansion, focus on your desired outcome.
Create a Comfortable Space: A peaceful setting with soft music enhances the journey.
Surrender to the Experience: Let go of expectations and allow the process to unfold naturally.
Integrate Afterward: Journaling, meditation, or breathwork can help ground and process insights.
Final Thoughts
The Lucia Light No. 3 is a powerful tool for exploring the depths of consciousness in a safe and accessible way. Whether you are seeking profound relaxation, inner wisdom, or an expansion of your awareness, this light experience offers a glimpse into the infinite potential of the mind.
If you’re curious about diving into your own inner universe, this might just be the next step on your journey of transformation.
Would you try the Lucia Light No. 3? Share your thoughts and experiences below!
What Is Somatic Breathwork?
In our fast-paced world, finding effective methods to manage stress and promote holistic well-being is essential. One such practice gaining recognition is somatic breathwork.
In our fast-paced world, finding effective methods to manage stress and promote holistic well-being is essential. One such practice gaining recognition is somatic breathwork.
What is Somatic Breathwork?
Somatic breathwork is a therapeutic approach that combines controlled breathing techniques with heightened bodily awareness. The term "somatic" originates from the Greek word "soma," meaning "body," emphasizing the practice's focus on the mind-body connection. By consciously regulating breath patterns, individuals can influence their physical, emotional, and mental states, fostering overall well-being.
Improved Mental Clarity: Regular practice of somatic breathwork has been linked to better focus and cognitive function, aiding in mental clarity and decision-making.
neurologyadvisor.comPhysical Health Benefits: Conscious breathing techniques can positively impact respiratory function, blood pressure, and overall physical health.
webmd.com
Who Can Benefit from Somatic Breathwork?
Somatic breathwork is versatile and can be beneficial for various individuals, including:
Those Experiencing Stress or Anxiety: Individuals looking to manage stress or anxiety may find relief through the calming effects of controlled breathing.
Individuals with Trauma Histories: Those seeking to process and heal from past traumas can use somatic breathwork as a gentle therapeutic tool.
Anyone Seeking Personal Growth: Individuals aiming to enhance self-awareness and personal development can benefit from the introspective nature of the practice.
Incorporating somatic breathwork into your routine can serve as a powerful tool for healing and personal transformation, fostering a harmonious connection between mind and body.
Schedule your session today !